NASHVILLE, TN – Country singer Glenn Coventry is considering posting a video of himself using the N-word to boost record sales for his new album.

NASHVILLE, TN – A new online support group has been launched to help Republicans find music made by artists that align with current Republican values.

TAMPA, FL – The National Football League (NFL) announced the theme for this year’s Super Bowl halftime show will be “America” and will feature a large number of white people wandering around “doing whatever they want to do.”

NASHVILLE – Local country singer Johnny Thunder is reportedly having trouble finding a word that rhymes with America that he hasn’t already used.

CLEVELAND, OH – Responding to political pressure, the Cleveland Indians baseball team has changed its mascot from a Native American to a man from India.

TUCSON, AZ – A report released last week by a research team at University of Arizona concluded that Country Music is terrible and should be avoided at all costs.

NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE – Conspiracy theorists across the globe were redeemed this week as it was revealed that the true man behind the war in Iraq is not George W. Bush but rather Charlie Anderson, President of the Country Music Association.

WASHINGTON D.C. – During his weekly radio address to the nation, President George W. Bush laid out his administration’s plan for post-war Iraq or as he referred to it “New Texas.” Bush plans to meet with British Prime Minister Tony Blair and other world leaders to discuss the plan later this month but detailed the plan in full for the American public.